If anyone has been visiting this blog over the last twenty-four hours, there has been some drama unfolding.  I recently wrote a post called, "Crossing The River Styx" because I previously had an intense night full of powerfully vivid dreams.  The dreams were so profound that I felt as though I had been told to be at a certain location at a certain time, which was this morning before sunrise.  Against my own better judgement, I decided to go there while having the impression that nothing at all would happen, and the whole affair would be little more than a wild goose chase at best.  I was profoundly wrong.  I quickly came home after this event, deleted my posts and left a brief post indicating the whole thing was a horrible and sinister deception.  This was done partially in haste, and partially in hysteria.  Admittedly I am not perfect, far from it, and like a lot of people, I struggle for the answers.
 
I drove to the specific location while it was still dark outside early this morning.  I was so anxious about this meeting that my hands were shaking.  I kept asking myself why I was so scared because I was convinced that nothing would happen.  Since my encounter with the "Harlequin" earlier this year, I have had the thought deep in my mind that this whole thing was leading up to some type of contact event.  I have never thought this being was an alien, demon, or an angel for that matter. I honestly didn't know for certain. For me it was non-definable, and I viewed it this way since I was a young child.  "She" was the tooth-fairy and that is all I had ever known her as.  She seemed to be some sort of childhood guardian.  After this morning, I am convinced that she has been leading me down a certain path for years.  Whether for good or ill, I don't fully realize at the moment.  My understanding has drastically changed.
 
I went to the designated place, sat down and waited. Within ten minutes of sitting there, I felt that I had made a grave mistake by even showing up.  It was clear that my mind was not sufficiently prepared for the event.  As I sat there, I felt a tingling in the back of my head, which soon felt as though it was penetrating into my skull and scanning my mind.  At that point I distinctly heard a voice say, "Do you remember when we used to dance and sing together, Danny?"  My heart dropped utterly because it was clear there was a presence right behind the bench I was sitting in.  Admittedly, I have never heard a voice so incredibly rich, while possessing no accent or blemish of any kind.  It was like hearing the english language in absolute purity, neither male nor female. As nice as that may sound, this didn't make this experience seem any less terrifying.
 
Quite frankly, I expect to lose a great deal of credibility with this post.  I am not sure how much further I will continue with this blog, if at all until I can fully integrate the experience.  The presence behind me was the Harlequin, and there is no doubt in my mind of this.  I was solidly frozen in absolute terror. How I managed to not piss myself is a mystery.  It was clear to me that I could turn around if I wished, but it was not required.  During one moment I turned my head only slightly and made out its thin form standing less than ten feet behind me.  It was just as I always remembered it, it was not a grey or any other such being.  It was an old androgyne human-like being that still possessed the features of a child (in physical size) with that typical shocked look upon its face. From what I saw, its eyes/orbits were enormous.  Its eyes weren't black, but seemed very clear. I didn't look at it directly, this is simply what I inferred of it through a brief peripheral glance.  Admittedly, I cannot rule out the fact that the stress and anxiousness may well have fueled a complete hallucination of this entire event.  I will just state that this has never happened to me before and I don't ask anyone to believe one iota of what I write. Simply take it into consideration. 
 
In my earlier posts dealing with the Harlequin, I explained that my childhood communications with this being were intuitive.  During that time I was guarded to a certain extent from my own penetration into its mind, although it had full access into mine.  Through this intuitive communication, one is able to experience directly the mind that it is in communication with.  At least, that was the case for me this time around, and I believe that was the entire purpose of this very strange meeting.  It became clear almost immediately that I entered into the mind of something that exists so far beyond humanity that not even in my most profound moments of despair or spiritual elation, have I ever experienced anything like it.  Imagine getting into the mind of a being that is ancient beyond imagination.  Imagine that it has traversed near boundless time and space in doing so.  Imagine the will to self-preservation such a being would possess.  Do you think for a moment that such a being will only possess kindness and benevolence?  Perhaps it possesses other traits as well, traits that necessarily exist for its own continuity and survival.  These would be traits that it accepts as integral to its survival no matter how brutal or negative they may be perceived by a humanity that lacks experience.  There is a complexity and terror here that has never been fully addressed. This is a complexity that the human mind can scarcely grasp because it is ruled (and blissfully so) by certain opinions and passions that prohibit a certain panoramic view of existence that in the end may be necessary for its own continuity.
 
 It is clear to me how dangerous this type of being really is to the status quo of humanity. If "disclosure" meant the full understanding of what I am writing about tonight, I believe humanity would be under an enduring curse because it would be unable to integrate what they are into its own weltanschuuang.  They are individuated far above what we are as human beings.  A well known writer keeps telling us that "we should never come to a conclusion on this because the more we think about it, the further we evolve. I think they are here and we are staring in the face of our own evolution."  I hear this often and never before has it made me so sick to my stomach.  I don't buy it for a second.  I will not even mention that such ideas are normally dealing with ideas of human progress that are often riddled with error upon error.  There is no evidence whatsoever to lead us to believe that we are evolving toward any specific goal other than the endless cycles of the universe, which is the constant birth and destruction of myriads of forms, both human and "alien".  Sadly, the UFO/Alien Abduction community has bought into the many misconceptions of the new age movement, which is itself a syncretic batch of nonsense that in the last several years has attempted to integrate science into its structure in an attempt to make it appear to be more valid.  The integration of what these things appear to be offering has nothing to do with moral or spiritual platitudes, it has everything to do with incorporating a transcendence that is almost sickening to human sensibilities.
 
I have spent nearly 14 years undergoing an initiation that at times has nearly incarcerated, institutionalized, and killed me.  I am beginning to think that these "14 years of carrion" have been leading up to this understanding, but perhaps I am wrong.  It wasn't until I was almost 30 years old that I began to establish myself internally. Is this what I have waited for?  I have squandered a small fortune and my own health in the process of this goal and this seems practically unimaginable to me. Since this morning I have a far better understanding of what is going on. It is finally clear to me now that they are composed of  physicality and subtle matter and are able to switch between the two as easily as we turn on a switch. They are so far beyond the mechanism of emanationism. So much so that they appear to have learned how to manipulate the entire process.  It wasn't easy for this being to accomplish its place in existence, and I consider its degree of initiation far far far far far greater than my own by leaps and bounds.  I cannot even put it into a box without utterly cursing myself.
 
Let me put it bluntly if I may, I am quite sure this being has slaughtered other forms of life during its existence. Possibly even human beings.  It has a certain animal nature to it even though it is far above the animal kingdom in respect to its self-awareness.  I am convinced that it has the potential to destroy the world if it wished. In fact, I am quite sure that this being is related to the same beings that my friend "Mark" had encountered some years ago.  Any sane and rational human being would look upon this type of being and think it is not only psychotic, malefic, and disturbed but a brutal and vicious killer that lacks empathy.  That is because this type of being operates by an entirely different set of rules, rules that transcend morality in ways we don't understand.  This is why they care nothing for peoples feelings or emotions during abduction and other types of events. At the same time, as nonsensical as it may sound to some, there was a genuine care that it had for me this morning.  Even though I was completely terrified, and was possibly screaming "Please don't kill me!" as I was running to my car, it became obvious to me that it felt a horrible sorrow at my response to what it was.  It was as if I had rejected it completely.  In this regard I believe that the spectrum of its intellectual makeup is incredibly wide, its like nothing we can understand with our limited minds. When it loves, it loves far more profoundly than a human being.  When it experiences elation or joy, it transcends anything we know.  It's intellectual nature was so intense, my own thoughts felt almost drowned out completely.
 
Presentation is everything! What I learned from it:  This type of being operates as contrary to the flow of nature...As oxymoronic as it sounds, that is its nature.  It's sole purpose is a will to self-preservation,  it was clearly once a human being, but became what it is by overcoming even the natural flow of nature to dissolve its form.  There is a love it has for continuity that drowns out everything else.  If I can describe its race with one word it would be Endurance. She is a transcendence of death. It had no choice but to transcend its own morality, and its own feelings of what is right and wrong for the sake of its genuine will to self-preservation.  In its own mind, the preservation of form is everything and it must do whatever it must to withstand the tide for the perseverance of its own being hood. Whether this being is an abomination from the perspective of beings that may transcend it, I do not yet know.  What I do know is that for me, it is as real as you or me.
 
I am in no position to say that it is right or wrong, my own mind has shuddered in the contemplation of what it communicated of itself to me.  Ideas of quantum physics mean nothing to it, neither does religion, morality, metaphysics, or anything else for that matter.  Though it seems incredibly intelligent, it knows that all thing seem to exist in the realm of ideas, which are inevitably corruptible.  There are aspects of our humanity that it views as painfully trivial.  It loves who it will, it hates who it will, and it communicates itself to people in the form that will be the most conducive to the moment that it reveals itself in.  This morning, just like in 1994, it showed its real form to me-as a truly "Post Human" being. A being that still has form, individuality, and an intensity that would move most people to virtue if they were to ever come into contact with it.  I am frightened to my very core of it. 
 
I don't pretend for a second to know the fullness of this phenomenon.  I don't trust many writers on this phenomenon after this experience.  What I do know is that I am either completely delusional, or I have tasted of a transcendence that is both terrifying and completely unimaginable to me.  I am not so sure that good and evil even have a place where this being comes from.  Its only justification for what it is, (and I have heard reflections of this earlier which I recorded in my post "We Are Coming Through The Walls." is that:
 
"the universe practices murder on a scale you cannot imagine in your limited understanding of life. Who is the beast and who is the prey? When I stretch out my hand to you, do I give you my love and wish to sing with you, or do I give you water from a poisoned well? "
 
It became clear to me during this dialogue, which lasted only briefly that I was dealing with no "master" the world could ever accept.  Its presence was terrible and yet I can say that I consider this being so transcendent that I have never been in the presence of a being so rich in wisdom and intimidation simultaneously.  I think that we have this idea that an individual that possesses wisdom must also be benevolent. This is not the case at all.  Because its intellectual spectrum is so wide, its joy of life far transcends anything we understand in our wildest dreams.  Our own joy and love pale in comparison, and this is difficult to grasp in a being that can clearly cause upheaval by merely entering into the presence of an ordinary human being.  That is what makes its "being hood" so worth the trouble it has suffered.  There were certain things that made me intuitively aware that its understanding of life was incredibly close to the teachings of Samkhya, though not identical. The idea of survival of the fittest is not what I am getting at. I cannot go any further into this until the dust settles for me, otherwise I feel I will not do it justice. The total experience lasted under 20-25 minutes according to the notes I left in my car. I fully understand that this post comes off as practically delusional, and quite honestly I am only attempting, albeit poorly, to communicate something that the english language doesn't seem to have the acumen to express.